


Moments

by Sarcasmcat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kid Fic, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-04-17 15:19:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14191836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarcasmcat/pseuds/Sarcasmcat
Summary: A collection of short stories revolving around Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My goal is to update this once a week, which is when I'll also update the tags. I wrote these almost two years ago so it's going to be easier to tag it as I go.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Canoodle ******

“Do you want to canoodle?”

Steve can’t help but shiver that wracks his body at the sound of Bucky’s voice. It’s had that effect on him ever since he hit puberty, when he had to hide his feelings from his friend, for fear of losing Bucky.

Now though, in the safety of his apartment, he has Bucky. No matter how many girls Buck goes out with, Steve knows his friend will always come back to him.

Broad hands settled on his hips before gently pulling him back to lean against Bucky. Lips touch the back of his neck and Steve shivers again.

“You haven’t answered my question?”

Smiling Steve turns so he can face Bucky. He looks at the well-known face and a thrill of want trickles down his spine. “Have I ever said no to canoodling with you?”

With a laugh Bucky leans down to kiss him. “Never, even when you should be resting.”

Steve doesn’t try to argue when he returns the kiss. He hates having asthma, especially when all he wants to do is spend all day laying in bed with Bucky’s weight pressing him down into the hard mattress. 

Looking at the broad sweep of Bucky’s shoulders Steve grins. “I think we should be jawing less and getting on with the canoodle.”

“Then let’s get to the bedroom. I want to do this where you’ll be comfortable. “Not up against the counters.”

Steve nods and slips free of Bucky’s grip to head to the small bedroom.

**Sketchbook ******

********

********

Bucky opens the bedroom door and freezes. He can’t hear anything from Steve’s room except his deep, even breathing and he’s not sure what it says about Steve, that he can sleep so soundly with a murderer in the house.

Moving quietly Bucky makes his way to the living room. He turns on the small tabletop lamp and his eyes are drawn to the sketchbook on the table.

He glances back to the door of Steve’s room and there’s no sign of movement. Taking a deep breath Bucky sits on the edge of the couch and picks up the sketchbook. The leather cover is soft under his real fingers and Bucky can tell the book is better quality that anything he had ever managed to buy for Steve.

Bucky opens the sketchbook. Steve was always willing to share his drawings when they were growing up and he doubts that’s changed any.

The first picture is of the New York skyline, from when they were growing up. The second is of the building Steve grew up in and Bucky frowns. It’s obvious Steve feels just as out of place as he does sometimes.

Fingers ghosting over the paper Bucky turns the page. The picture is of him, hair obscuring his face. He turns a few more pages, and all the pictures are of him, before he enlisted, while he and Steve served with the Commandos, to the mess he is now.

He closes the sketchbook and puts it back, exactly where it was. While he enjoys looking at Steve’s art, it certainly isn’t going to make it any easier to sleep.

**Tennis Shoes ******

********

********

Sitting on the couch Bucky looks at his feet. The tennis shoes he’s wearing are black with subtle red highlights. He wasn’t sure about the shoes when Steven had brought them home, but now that he’s had them on, he’s starting to understand.

He looks up to find Steve watching him with a painfully familiar look. It’s the same one he saw a million times when they were growing up and Steve had just gotten the shit beaten out of him.

Bucky wiggles his toes. “I’m starting to under the appeal. These are really comfortable.”

Steve smiles. “I know. I couldn’t believe how comfortable they were when Tony gave me a pair.”

There’s a hint of sadness in Steve’s voice and Bucky feels it echo in his chest. They’re both so out of place in this age and Bucky is glad Steve is here with him.

He gets to his feet and crosses to Steve. Aware of the blue eyes on him Bucky perches on the arm of Steve’s chair. Moving slowly, he rests his hand on the back of Steve’s neck.

Steve tenses for a moment before relaxing. “We can get another pair later, if you want.”

“Eventually.” Bucky gently squeezes Steve’s neck. “I do like how comfortable they are. And I don’t miss fighting with suspenders.”

His words make Steve laugh and Bucky allows a smile. It seems even now, Steve’s happiness is related to how happy he is.

Steve looks up at him. “The lack of suspenders was easy to adapt to. I am glad some one came up with tennis shoes because I can’t imagine wearing the shoes we used to wear all over.”

**Mistress ******

********

********

Steve watches as Natasha puts diamond studs in her ears before fixing her hair. She looks beautiful and Steve can’t help his pang of jealousy. He well remembers the girls Bucky used to bring home.

Natasha seems to read his thoughts and she turns to look at him. “Relax Steve. I’m just playing the role of mistress.” She smiles. “We both know who Bucky is going to come home to.”

Steve feels heat flood his cheeks, but he doesn’t look away. He hates that she can see his insecurity when it comes to Bucky, but he can’t help it. They’ve had so little time lately and this isn’t helping any. “I know.”

Smiling Natasha points to the door. “Go. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Steve does as he’s told and head to find Bucky. His partner is still in their room, trying to fix his bow-tie. Shaking his head Steve enters the room. It shouldn’t amuse him but it does, that Bucky can kill a man in a million different ways but is defeated by a bow-tie.

He steps in front of Bucky and starts fixing the bow-tie. “Nat is almost done. She looks like a million dollars.”

“Hey.”

Steve lifts his head to find Bucky look at him with dark eyes. Metal fingers brush his chin and he knows Bucky has caught him too.

“She’s only playing mistress because that’s what people expect. If I thought I could get away with it, I would take you instead, but the dress wouldn’t fit right.”

Steve smiles.

**Salient ******

********

********

“You’re forgetting one salient point Cap.”

Steve stares at Tony. “And what is that?”

Tony shifts his weight but doesn’t move from where he’s standing, arms folded across his chest. “He’s a murderer.”

There’s a roaring in his ears and stares at Tony. He knows the other man has moments of hypocrisy, but this is stupid.

Hands curling into fists Steve takes a deep breath. “Aren’t we all? Not one of us has clean hands.” He shakes his head when Tony opens his mouth. “I’m not talking about StarkTech. I mean the suit.”

Tony at least has the decency to look ashamed, but he doesn’t back down. “Yes, but we did it for good and the safety of others. Not like him.”

Steven knew he was going to have this fight at least once after seeing Bucky on the bridge. He just didn’t think it was to be with the closest thing he has to a family.

“Bucky was brainwashed and tortured into doing what he did. Hydra was and is responsible for everything he did. If not for what Hydra did to him, Bucky wouldn’t have hurt anyone.”

Tony looks skeptical. “And if not for Hydra, Bucky would be dead.”

Steve clenches his fists until his joints ache. He isn’t going to punch Tony, as much as he wants to. “Bucky isn’t a danger to us.”

Tony shrugs. “Believe what you want Cap, but I’m not going to forget there’s a murderer in my tower.”

Steve watches as Tony strides from the room. He’s going to have to keep any eye out for trouble.

**Graduate ******

********

********

Bucky shoves through the crowd of people in caps and gowns, talking to family and friends. He’s trying to find Steve but it’s proving difficult with all the people.

He finally catches sight of Steve surrounded by knots of people, alone and looking slightly lost. Smiling Bucky slips between two groups of people, hands outstretched.

His hands land on Steve’s narrow hips, squeezing and he laughs when his friend yelps and jumps. “Hey graduate.”

Steve spins, a flush painting his cheeks. “Not funny Buck.”

He’s grinning so Bucky knows Steve isn’t as upset as he’s acting. “I didn’t mean for the graduate thing to be funny. You worked hard for this.”

Steve’s blush gets even brighter and Bucky wants to kiss the color away but he knows this isn’t the place. Even though everyone is focused on their loved ones, all it takes is one person to look over at the wrong moment. Instead he settles for mock punching Steve, his knuckles just barely touching his friend’s chin. 

“Let’s go punk. Graduation lunch is on me.” He’s been saving a little bit of all his paychecks, just for today. He even has enough saved up for dessert.

Steve smiles. “You don’t have to.”

Bucky shrugs. “I want to treat you. It’s not every day one of us gets to reap the benefit of being a graduate.”

Smile widening, Steve nudges Bucky. “Okay. I’ll let you treat me.”

**Astonishment ******

********

********

Steve kisses Bucky, hands twisted into his lover’s hair. He knows they shouldn’t be making out in the hallway like teenagers, but he and Bucky have been traveling around the world opposite each other and this is the first time they’ve seen each other in nearly three months.

“Cap, before I take off- oh hey, sorry!”

Pulling back Steve can see Sam over Bucky’s shoulder. His friend is staring at the ceiling, hands held up in front of him. Ignoring Bucky’s look Steve pushing him aside and steps forward. “What did you need Sam?”

Sam glances between them, his astonishment clear. “When I agreed to find him, I hadn’t realized you two had that kind of relationship. I thought it was like Riley and I.”

Steve doesn’t move. “Is it going to be a problem?”

Same shrugs and smiles. “No. Whatever makes you happy.” He glances at Bucky, who is watching him with wary eyes. “And he makes you happy, so I have no complaints.”

“Word of advice though. Don’t keep going in the halls or Stark wont’ ever let you live it down.”

Steve smiles, knowing Sam’s advice is sound. “Thanks.”

Sam nods and disappears around the cover.

Bucky catches Steve’s wrist, drawing him close. “He’s a good friend.”

With a smile Steve kisses Bucky. “He is. Come on, let’s go back to my room so we can have a proper homecoming.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These span many different universes and are mostly unconnected.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read and left kudos.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Psychedelic**

Supporting Steve, Bucky shoves past Bruce. He shoves Steve on the low steel table and moves to remove his helmet. “I have no idea what’s going on. He got hit with something and he’s been going on about colors and seeing things.”

Bruce is immediately at Steve’s side. “That isn’t good. Most things don’t affect him anymore.”

Bucky nods. “I know.” He remembers drinking with Steve after the serum, when Steve had been the one pouring him into bed.

Glancing at the screen Bruce frowns. “He’s running hotter than usual and I need blood. Get him stripped.”

Bucky pulls Steve up and it’s surprisingly easy despite the fact Steve is muttering and staring into space. It reminds him of when Steve would get sick when they were younger, and he would worry Steve wasn’t going to make it through the night.

“From what you said James, I’m thinking he was dosed with some kind of psychedelic drug. Whoever did it must have over engineered it to have any effect on him.”

Bucky strips Steve’s top off and drops it to the ground. He lets Steve rest against him. “Can you do anything?”

Bruce looks up from the needle in Steve’s arm. “Maybe, if Jarvis and I can figure out what it is. Right now, the best we can do is make him comfortable.”

Bucky’s grin is sharp. “I’ve had plenty of experience taking care of him. Work fast.”

Nodding Bruce moves to the computer “Of course.”

**Pin-Up**

Shrugging off his coat Bucky hangs it on the wall hook. He’s exhausted from his night shift at the docks, but he knows he isn’t going to be able to sleep. Yawning he moves to sit on the couch. 

Steve is gone, doing odd jobs for the grocer around the corner. One of his sketch books is on the floor and Bucky picks it up. Looking at Steve’s artwork never fails to make his day better.

He randomly picks the middle of the book and opens it. His mouth falls open and he stares at the page.

It’s a picture of him, but in the style of a pin up, with a coy smile. This isn’t the first he’s seen a picture of himself that Steve has done, but the emotion behind this one is different. 

Feeling curious Bucky turns the page. The picture is also a pin up of him, but this time he’s wearing an Army uniform.

The next several pages are similar, and Bucky closes the book. He’s long suspected Steve harbored feelings for him and the pictures seem to confirm his suspicions. 

He likes women, their softness and the way they smell but he’s not above admitting he’s looked at Steve before. There’s something about his face, and his courage when it comes to standing up to bullies.

With a sigh Bucky sets the book back down. IT seems he’s going to have to think about his relationship to Steve and where it might go.

 **Panoply**

Bucky follows Steve onto the equipment floor of the tower. The blinds are open, throwing light off the stainless-steel decor and sharp edges. He has no idea why Steve has dragged him up here, but he’s curious. 

Steve stops and looks back at him with a smile. “Since you finally have been cleared to join us, I talked to Tony and he’s made you a bunch of weapons. Some of them are nonlethal.”

He presses his hand to the wall. Panels slide back to reveal a panoply of weapons and Bucky can only stare.

Hydra was usually stingy with what they gave him, expecting him to adapt if things went bad. Bucky glances at Steve. “All for me?”

Steve nods, a faint smile pulling at his lips. “For missions. You don’t get to take time to a secret lair, but yes, yours. Though Nat might give you a fight for some of it.”

Bucky moves to examine the weapons, aware of Steve behind him. He and his friend are still trying to find their balance. All of his memories have come back, including his feelings and he’s been trying to work through them. He doesn’t want to be the one to taint all the thing that make Steve good.

Steve takes a step back. “Tony put a range in down stairs. I’ll leave you alone with your panoply of weapons. And don’t forget, you do need to sleep tonight.”

Bucky manages a smile. “Yes mother.”

**Economics**

Closing his book Bucky jams it in his backpack and looks at Steve. His friend is talking to one of their fellow classmates, a faint flush staining his thin cheeks. Steve has been thriving in this environment and Bucky equally hates and loves it.

Bucky zips his bag shut and gently bumps Steve. “Hate to interrupt but we better get back to the apartment. You know economics isn’t my strong subject.”

Steve smiles at him before looking at their classmate. “Right. We’ll see you on Wednesday.”

The girl nods and casts a look at Bucky before leaving the room.

Steve gathers up his own stuff. “I don’t understand why you think you need help. You’re doing fine.”

Bucky guides Steve towards the door. “Only because you’ve been willing to help me through it. You know how much I hate classes where I have to sit still and read.”

The hallway is quiet, and they go down the wide stairs side by side. Steve risks a glance at Bucky. “I’ve seen you sit through class before.”

Bucky pushes open the doors. “Yes, but economics isn’t interesting. I’d have fallen asleep in there by now if you weren’t there to keep me awake.”

Steve’s cheeks turn pink again, the color bright under the afternoon sun. “You should have told me you didn’t want to take economics.”

Bucky shrugs. “You haven’t steered me wrong yet. Besides, this semester is half over. I’ll make it.”

**Exorbitant**

Bucky follows Steve into the hotel room and stops. Everything is cream and dark wood. Massive windows look out over the city, the lights like multi-colored diamonds. “This is ridiculous.”

Steve sets his bag down and toes his shoes off. “I know. When Tony told me about this I told him it ws exorbitant.” He smiles. “Not that he cares any.”

Nodding Bucky sets his bag down next to Steve’s and moves further into the penthouse. “This place is at least ten times bigger than any place we used to have.”

Steve turns from where he’s looking out over the city. “That’s what happens when you have a teammate who doesn’t understand the definition of exorbitant.”

Bucky moves to join Steve at the window, booted feet quiet in the thick carpet. “I would think you would be used to it, living as a superhero.”

Steve’s smile is wry. “I lived in a small apartment before moving into the tower.” He slants a look at Bucky. “I preferred the apartment. It was bigger than anything we ever had but it reminded me of before the war.”

Bucky rests his hand on Steve’s shoulder. They’ve been slowly circling each other, trying to find the balance they had during the war. He craves that closeness with Steve though he knows it may never happen again.

He squeezes Steve’s shoulder and jerks his head toward the kitchen. “Let’s see what kind of food Stark has for us. It should be good, based on our surroundings.

**Eldritch**

Steve enters the building ahead of Bucky, shield held loosely in front of him. There’s an eldritch feel to the old building and it’s making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. 

Bucky scans the room. “Why exactly are we here?”

Relaxing slightly Steve glances at his partner. “Jarvis captured a massive energy spike centered on this building and Wanda felt something.”

“I would like to comment on the irony of checking on a weird building because a weird girl felt something.” Bucky moves further into the foyer, the loose movement of his body belying his attention. He would be ready to move the moment they come across anything.

Steve grins as he moves toward the room opposite Bucky. “I wouldn’t say that anywhere there’s a chance Wanda might overhear you. I’ve seen what she can do when she’s angry.”

Bucky turns, half of his face hidden behind the doorjamb. “Unlike Stark, I know how to keep my mouth shut when people are around.”

“You’re much better than Tony at a lot of things.” Steve glances around. “Let’s see if we can find anything. I want to get out of here before anything weird happens.”

Nodding Bucky inclines his head towards the stairs. “I’ll start up top. Want to meet in the middle?”

Steve adjusts his shield. “Yeah. Maintain radio contact.”

“Can do. Hopefully we don’t find anything too odd.”

**Algebra**

Bucky rakes a hand through his hair and sits back, throwing his pencil on the book. “Why did they feel the need to add letters. No one in the real world puts letters with numbers.”

Steve laughs and sets his own pencil down. “It’s an important skill to have.” He leans into Bucky. “How about this, we’ll go over the rules of algebra again. Then you can solve some problems and if you them right I’ll reward you for your hard work.”

Smiling Bucky closes the space between them. He loves when Steve is this forward, when they’re alone and Steve feels confident. “That’s quite the incentive. It might even make me wan to take this seriously.”

Steve kisses Bucky before moving back, grinning all the while. “Algebra first, rewards later.”

"Alright.” Bucky takes his pencil back up. “Teach me Stevie.”

Bucky remembers most of what Steve tells him, but it makes more sense this time. He meets Steve’s expectant gaze and smiles wryly. “Do your worst.”

Steve hands him a few questions, written in his neat handwriting. “I’ll give you fifteen minutes.”

Shaking his head Bucky looks at the questions. The letters are still irritating him, but he can do this. Steve’s voice is echoing in his head and he really wants his reward. He glances at Steve who is looking at his own algebra book.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read and left kudos.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Nightly**

Leaning against the headboard Steve roughs out the lines of a building. The apartment is quiet around him, though he knows it might not last. Things have been a little better, the nightmares not quite nightly anymore, but some weeks are worse than others.

He sketches a window, his pencil pausing when he hears a sound. There’s another sound, the scuff of feet on the floor. Bucky always tries to make sound when they’re together, like he’s afraid to sneak up on him.

The door creaks open to reveal Bucky, dressed in loose grey pants and a long sleeve shirt, the metal of his hand catching the soft light.

Reaching over Steve pulls the blankets back, in silent invitation. He knows not to ask questions and to let Bucky do things at his own pace. He goes back to sketching, pencil moving in short strokes.

Bucky rounds the end of the bed and perches on the side of the bed, partially turned from Steve.

Steve keeps part of his attention on the expanse of Bucky’s shoulders. He’s gotten used to the silence between them.

“I haven’t tried to sleep. The silence of my room was to oppressive.” After a long moment he turns and tucks his feet under the blankets.

Closing the sketchbook Steve sets it aside. “We can get an apartment with more noise.”

Bucky manages a wry smile. “Your snoring is the only thing I need to sleep Steve.”

**Stasis**

Standing at parade rest Steve watches as the tube slides up to seal Bucky from the world again. Mist swirls up around Bucky’s feet, obscuring him and throwing a lacy pattern of ice across the glass.

Steve glances at the monitor, noting the steady beat of Bucky’s heart and his other vitals. He knows Wakanda is the best, safest place for them, but he hates that Bucky is going back into stasis.

They’ve barely had any time alone, the hours on the Quinjet not counting. Everything that had happened had been too fresh and raw, enough to dim the joy of having Bucky back.

Taking a deep breath Steve looks back at the tube. Bucky looks peaceful and Steve’s heart clenches. He’s been dreaming about his since he first realized Bucky was still alive. Granted, he had never imagined it going this way, and he can never thank the others enough for taking his side.

“You and me Buck.”

The Wakandans ignore him and Steve manages a wry smile. He and Bucky are lucky T’Challa is a reasonable man and king. He moves to join the other man at the big windows. “I won’t ever be able to thank you enough.”

T’Challa glances at him. “You are an honorable man Steven Rogers. I will keep your friend safely in stasis until we can help him. And you will both be welcome here.”

Steve nods. “Thank you.”

**Sea Cucumber**

The waitress sets the plate down between them before moving away. Bucky eyes the plate, trying to figure out what he and Steve are supposed to be eating. He can make out vegetables in the sauce, but the chunks of white meat are a mystery.

Steve picks up his fork and gestures at the plate. “Have some. You’ll like it.”

Bucky takes up his own fork. “I’ve heard that from you before and I seem to recall not liking it.”

With a shrug Steve stabs at the mystery meat. “I can’t always be right. Just eat it.”

Knowing how stubborn Steve can be, Bucky gives in. He drives the tines into a chunk of flesh. Raising it to his mouth he can smell butter and herbs.

Steve is watching him, lips quirked up in a smile. Meting Steve’s gaze, Bucky puts the morsel in his mouth. Under the sauce there’s an underlying flavor of salt. The texture reminds him of the seafood he and Steve used to eat, when they had the money.

He swallows and meets Steve’s knowing gaze. “Not bad. What is it?”

Steve stabs another chunk. “Sea cucumber. When I first came here, I wasn’t sure when I first had it, but they’ve grown on me.”

Bucky stabs another piece, along with some onion. “Not the worst thing I’ve ever had.”

Steve shakes his head. “I don’t want to know what you’ve eaten.”

 **Upgrade**

It takes Bucky a moment to remembers why he feels so foggy. He had allowed the Wakandan scientists to knock him out so they could replace his ruined arm. With a low groan he forces his eyes open and isn’t surprised to find Steve in a chair next to him. His friend is staring at a sketchbook, though the page is blank.

“Can I open a jar alone?”

Steve’s head whips up and he smiles. “Yes, you can open a jar again.”

Returning Steve’s grin Bucky looks at his left arm. It looks sleeker, the metal a little darker. His little finger moves at his command and his grin grows. The neural connection in this arm are far better than the old one.

Bucky looks up to find Steve watching him expectantly. He shrugs. “I guess I’ll keep it. It’s better than the last one.”

“It’s a vast upgrade from the one the Soviets gifted you with. My scientists are very proud of their work.”

T’Challa enters the room. “The connections are better than those in the human mind. It’s Vibranium, so the limb will survive anything.”

Bucky raises his arm and looks at Steve through the fingers. “Want to give it a go?”

Steve smiles, one hand resting on the bed. “Not right now. I’ve already been warned to not let you do anything for a week. It needs time to heal or the connections will be disrupted.”

Bucky touches Steve’s hand with his own. “Spoilsport.”

**Trap**

Rifle against his chest Bucky looks down the hallway. “This is a trap.”

Steve glances at his partner. “I know. Nat and I talked about the likelihood of that and we decided it still had to be done.”

Finger sliding over the trigger guard Bucky grins. “It was sweet of you two to include me in the decision.”

Removing his shield and settling it on his arm Steve grins. “You were having so much fun with Sam, we didn’t want to disrupt you.”

“We were having a good time.” Bucky thumbs off his rifle safety. “Let’s spring the trap. You know how much I hate waiting.”

Steve turns his comm on. “Separate or stay together?”

With a smirk Bucky nudges Steve. “Together. I feel like we should make this as easy as possible on them.”

“You’re too nice Bucky.”

The hallways around them are silent, lights flickering, throwing shadows for people to hide in. Steve moves slowly, scanning each intersection, Bucky a solid warmth at his back.

There are three underground levels to the building and there’s no way of knowing when or where they’ll trip over the trap. The only thing they can hops is that the trap isn’t fatal.

They reach a cross intersection and Steve glances at Bucky. “Right or left?”

Bucky nods to the left. “We went right the last time we were in this kind of situation. 

Steve shifts left. “Left it is.”

 **Embonpoint**

Bucky has gotten to the point where he doesn’t mind spending time watching TV. He glances at Steve, who is half sketching, half staring into space. “When did this all happen, this change to hating women who tend to embonpoint?”

Steve closes his sketchpad and shrugs. “It was like that when I woke up. I’ve seen a lot of things about it I don’t like.”

An underwear ad comes on and Bucky frowns. He can admit the women are attractive, but he doesn’t understand. Some of his dates from back before had been a little plump and he remembers those dates with fondness. “I swear just when I think things can’t get any weirder, it does.”

Steve grins. “You know, no one is going to judge you for your choice of beauty standards.”

Bucky stretches, arm along the back of the couch. “Not that I really care what people think about me.”  
He tickles his fingers against the back of Steve’s neck. “Besides, even though I have nothing against embonpoint women, I also had a thing for scrawny blonds without much up top.”

Steve blushes and shakes his head. “You are terrible.”

Smiling Bucky leans in and presses a kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Terrible or not, you love it.”

Steve shoves at him. “Off. I have to meet Nat in the gym.”

 **Hors d’oeuvres**

Bucky looks good in his tailored suit with his hair neatly pulled back into a tail. Steve wants to sketch Bucky looking like this but he knows it isn’t going to happen. 

Steve watches as Bucky snatches a piece of toast with something on top of it. He eats it and then frowns.

“Do they serve real food or are we stuck with hors d’oeuvres all night?”

Laughing, Steve nods towards an arched doorway where tables with pristine white tablecloths are barely visible. “We’ll get food, but it isn’t really enough for super soldiers. I suggest loading up on hors d’oeuvres if you don’t want to be starving afterward.”

Bucky snatches a few shrimps. “Remind me why we’re here and not eating real food.”

Steve mirrors his partner, getting food from a passing server. “Because this is an Avenger function, and the Avengers should be here.”

Bucky snorts in derision. “No one really sees me as an Avenger.” He spots Wanda, who looks equally uncomfortable and it makes him smile. At least he isn’t alone.

Steve raises a hand and rests it on Bucky’s neck. He squeezes gently. “You’re an Avenger, no matter what others think. Eat more snacks. The night is young and dinner is a long time away.”

Bucky smiles. “You only take me the nicest places Stevie.”

Steve smiles.


	4. Chapter 4

**Innocuous**

“Stop fidgeting. You look innocuous.”

Bucky glances at Steve over the top of his sunglasses. “Up until we walk by a bunch of magnets. Not many safe people who wander by are magnetic.”

Steve jostles Bucky as they make their way through the crowd. “You look harmless. No one is paying any attention to us.”

Rolling his eyes Bucky shakes his head. It’s amazing how Steve’s optimism is still alive and well. People are looking at them, though not because they seem dangerous.

Steve seems oblivious to the way women look at him, like he’s stuck pre-serum. Bucky moves closer to Steve as they approach a group of women. He isn’t prone to jealousy as his and Steve’s relationship has spanned decades and experiences.

“I feel like a crocodile among zebras. I’m surprised no one is running screaming.”

Steve moves closer to Bucky, until he can feel the subtle firmness of the metal arm. “Safe. We project harmless and safe.”

Bucky nudges Steve “Of they’re to busy thinking about what they want to do to you to pay attention to me.”

His words make Steve blush and Bucky grins. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of making Steve blush. “Let’s get some food. And some place to crash. We can take the rest of the day off before we can stop being innocuous and do what we’re supposed to do.”

**Catoptromancy**

Taking a deep breath Steve rests his hand on both side of the mirror. The wood is rough against the palms of his hands, in direct counterpoint to the smoothness of the mirror.

The room is quiet around him, save for the crackling fire. He’s found if there is to much sound in the room he can’t focus enough for the catoptromancy to work. A log pops in the fire, sending up a cascade of sparks and Steve sighs. “Please work.”

Steve closes his eyes and takes another deep breath. His heart is beating like a galloping horse and nothing is going to happen if he can’t calm down. 

Bucky needs him to do this, to see the future and he can’t let his partner down. Moving his fingers to rest against the edge of the mirror Steve opens his eyes. The surface is perfect, and he stares at it.

His mother taught him the art of using a mirror to divine the future. Steve doubts he’ll ever be as good as his mom, but he has enough skill to help Bucky.

The surface of the mirror wavers and Steve can see the familiar field and trees. There’s a line of troops moving forward, heavily armed and well provisioned. 

The scene skips to a bloody battle. 

Shaking his head Steve watches as the scene fades away. With a gasp he gets to his feet. He has to tell Bucky.

**Respite**

Steve sinks to the ground, his shield vibrating as it hits the ground. Bucky slides down the wall next to him, hair matted with dust and sweat. Reaching up, Steve removes his helmet and drops it into his lap. “Are we done?”

With a sigh Bucky closes his eyes. “Yeah. I think we’ve earned a respite, at least until the others find us.”

“That’ll take a while, since I doubt anyone else is up for moving.”

Steve shifts and grits his teeth against the flash of pain the movement causes. He knows it won’t hurt for long but right now he’s miserable.

Bucky nudges Steve. “Everyone is alive and were the most injured. You kind of zoned out during role call.”

Steve rests his head against the wall. “I didn’t mean too. I’m just so tired.”

Bucky shifts, leaning over to kiss Steve’s cheek. “I know. Barring complications or the end of the world, we get a respite. They won’t call us for a week.”

“Only a week?” Steve turns his head to kiss Bucky. He tastes blood and sweat.

Pulling back Bucky laughs. “A week officially, but Nat said she would stretch it.”

“Good.” Steve closes his eyes again. “I know we should get up and move but I don’t have the energy.”

“Nat’s going to get the Quinjet and pick us up first. Something about the old men needing the most help.”

Steve shakes his head.

**Puffin**

Bucky slips into the back of the puffin enclosure, making sure to shut the door. He well remembers the last time they had to chase a puffin through the back part of the aquarium.

The enclosure is quiet, save for the sounds of splashing and the soft sounds the puffins make. He knows Steve is in the enclosure. There’s usually only two places his partner is, either at their apartment or in with his puffins.

Entering the enclosure Bucky isn’t surprised to find Steve sitting on the rocks, wearing his waders. The puffins are climbing all over him, begging for fish from the bucket next to him.

“That bad?”

Steve looks at him as he hands out a fish. “No. Just frustrating. I figured it was better to stay here and feed them rather than dealing with it at home.”

Bucky doesn’t move any closer. He has yet to figure out why, but the puffins don’t seem to like him. They tend to set up an unholy racket if he gets too close to Steve.

Shrugging Bucky grins. “We could go to the gym. I know that would be a better way to work out your frustration than feeding these monsters.”

Steve holds out another fish. “It would be. Let me get my puffins settled for the night and I’ll meet you at the bike.”

Bucky nods and backs away.

**Flummoxed**

The sound of the door opening makes Steve pull away from kissing Bucky. He turns to find Sharon standing in the doorway, looking flummoxed. There’s a shove at his shoulder and he glances at Bucky. His partner nods towards Sharon and steps back. 

Steve takes a breath and moves towards Sharon. She seems to startle at his approach and backs out of the room. Closing the door Steve turns to face her. “Sharon…”

She meets Steve’s gaze. “What about Aunt Peggy?”

Falling to Parade rest Steve squares his shoulders. “I loved Peggy. She never looked at me with pity, even before the serum. She was an extraordinary woman and there was no way I couldn’t love her.” He raises his hand to gesture to the door. “But Bucky and I predate Peggy and I never stopped loving Bucky, for all that I loved your aunt.”

Sharon shakes her head, smiling wryly. “I should have suspected something, with everything you went through to get him back.” She looks at him. “And the kiss?”

Steve smiles. “You are beautiful and helpful and I wanted to.”

“At least I can’t accuse you of leading me on.” She steps in and presses a kiss to his cheek. Stepping back Sharon smiles. “I’m glad it worked out. And I know Peggy would be too. She always was sad when she mentioned what happened to Bucky.”

Steve watches her walk away.

**Hypnagogic**

Stretched out on the bed Steve watches Bucky through slit eyes. It’s late and his lover is almost asleep, curled up with his hands tucked under the pillow.

It’s been nearly a year since everything went down and with the help of the Wakandans they’re made strides getting Hydra out of his head but there are still moments.

Lately Bucky has been having hypnagogic hallucinations that makes him startle back to wakefulness. It doesn’t happen every night but Steve has gotten into the habit of falling asleep after Bucky.

Bucky reaches out to rest his hand on Steve’s arm, the metal cool against his skin. “You can fall asleep before me. I won’t feel bad if I flail awake and you’re asleep.”

Steve slides a hand under Bucky’s shirt, thumb stroking over skin. “Maybe I just like watching you fall asleep.”

Bucky’s grin is slow and lazy. “I know you aren’t a creeper Steve, despite the pictures in all your sketchbooks.” 

Steve can feel his cheeks heat. “Those are works of art and not creepy.”

“I know.” Bucky leans forward to kiss Steve. “Go to sleep. If I flail when I’m sleeping, I’ll try not to smack you too much.”

Steve gently pinches Bucky’s side. “I won’t hold it against you.”

Kissing Steve again Bucky nudges him. “Go to sleep. I won’t flail too much.

**Gargantuan**

Thumbing the safety on his rifle Bucky slings it across his back. He glances at Steve. “You neglected to mention how big our problem is.”

Steve grins. “I told you our problem was gargantuan. Don’t blame me because you didn’t take me seriously.”

Bucky knows his fist against the massive metal sphere. “Excuse me for thinking you were exaggerating. What are we supposed to do with it?” He frowns. “What is it?”

Steve shrugs as he drags his fingers over the bluish metal. “Tony is working on it, but he’s still got nothing. All we know is that it came from space and nothing bad has happened.”

“Yet.” Bucky smirks at the look Steve gives him. “I know you were thinking it. Things from space are rarely benevolent. Except Thor and sometimes I’m not so sure about him.”

Steve moves to stand with Bucky. “I wish Thor was here. It’s making me nervous having it sit here doing nothing.” 

Bucky knocks on it again. “How long are we keeping watch?”

“Until midnight. “Nat and Sam will relieve us.” Steve looks at the sphere. “Hopefully by then Tony will have an answer.”

Bucky jerks his head back towards a small hill. “Want to sit and watch our gargantuan sphere?”

Steve grins. “As if I’d rather be anywhere else.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read and left kudos.
> 
> Enjoy.

**Exorcism**

There are voices outside their door and Bucky goes to listen. For most of the night there had been weird voices and thumps from the next apartment. There had even been some yelling, though he and Steve hadn’t been able to make out the words.

After a few minutes the voices fade and Bucky moves back to join Steve on the couch. He leans into Steve, arm across the back of the ratty couch. “It was two priests. They were performing an exorcism and that’s what all the yelling was about.”

“Oh.” Steve looks at the door. “That wasn’t what I expected.” He slumps against Bucky, drawing on his heat. 

When the thumping had first started he and Bucky had exchanged looks. They had become experts at having sex quietly, but it seemed like their neighbors hadn’t. Then the voices had started, and they had listened for long hours.

Bucky kisses Steve’s cheek. “I know. I didn’t like it either.”

Steve shudders. “I don’t know that I’m going to be able to sleep. Knowing there was an exorcism next door.” He looks at Bucky. “Would you get my sketchbook?”

Nodding Bucky gets off the couch. Steve is far more religious than he is and Bucky can tell how worked up his partner is. And he can’t really blame him. The yelling and nearly constant bumps had been disconcerting, especially happening at night as it had.

**Huddle**

Bucky grasps the blankets and pulls them up to cover his and Steve’s shoulders. It’s bitterly cold out and the heater in their apartment has died. Bucky had managed to get a hold of the landlord, but the man won’t be able to make it out until tomorrow.

He pulls Steve closer, listening to his friend’s breathing. Steve has just gotten over a really bad cold and now he’s afraid Steve might get sick again, breathing all this cold air.

“Bucky, I do need to breathe.”

There’s a hint of a laugh in Steve’s voice and Bucky pulls back a little. “Sorry Stevie. I know having to huddle together on a Friday night isn’t your idea of a good time.”

Steve shrugs and looks at Bucky. “It doesn’t matter. We would have ended up spending tonight together anyway.”

Bucky grins. “True.”

Steve looks a little flushed, so Bucky draws the blankets close again. HE smiles when he feels Steve relax against him, head on his shoulder. This is hardly the first time he and Steve have had to share warmth and he doubts it will be the last. 

Relaxing into the bed Bucky closes his eyes. Right now, they’re warm enough sleep won’t be difficult. It doesn’t take long before Bucky feels lips touch his neck. He’s known for awhile how Steve feels about him and he feels the same way but he’ll deal with it tomorrow, when they aren’t huddled for warmth.

 **Roe**

Steve watches as Bucky accepts a small piece of toast piled with tiny, black spheres. His lover eats the morsel and looks happier than he should about a piece of food. “What was that?”

Bucky looks at Steve. “Roe on toast.” He glances aside ashamedly. “It was something Hydra gave me when they thought I deserved a reward for a job well done. They’re out of my head, but it seems I still love it.”

Curiosity piqued, Steve motions for another server. Tony is paying for all this food so if he hates it, there isn’t really a loss.

The waiter sets a small plate between them with several pieces of toast and roe. Steve looks at Bucky, who is watching him with a challenge in his eyes.

Steve picks up a piece of toast and raises it. He can smell salt and fish, though it isn’t unpleasant. He pops It in his mouth. It tastes saltier than it smells but it isn’t bad. The roe pops when he bites down, which is weird. 

Steve swallows. “Not bad. The texture is a little off, but it’s edible. I can’t say I understand your fascination but I could eat it if I had to.”

Grinning Bucky pulls the plate closer. “That’s fine. I’ll just eat it all and you can starve.”

Leaning over, Steve kisses Bucky’s cheek. “I’ll get over letting you eat all your little fish eggs. I’ll just eat all the steak.”

Bucky elbows him.

**Grocery**

Closing the fridge Bucky sighs. There’s almost nothing to eat in the apartment and it’s nearing dinner time. Raking a hand through his hair Bucky enters the living room where Steve is on the couch sketching.

Bucky leans against the back of the couch and tickles the nape of Steve’s neck. He grins when he lover flinches away from the soft touch. “We’re almost out of food. Do you want to go to the grocery store with me?”

Steve closes his sketchbook and sets it on the side table with the pencil on top. “No, but I know if I don’t, you’ll get lost and we’ll never have dinner.”

Pushing back Bucky grins. “I’m not that bad.” 

Steve turns to kneel on the couch. “The last time you went to the grocery store, it took you nearly two hours to come back.” He leans in to kiss Bucky. “It wouldn’t be bad if you’d come home with a weeks’ worth of food. You had four things.”

“There were a lot of old ladies who needed help reaching things on the top shelf.” With a grin Bucky pulls back. “Let’s go. At this rate we’re having tuna sandwiches because we won’t get back until midnight.”

Steve slips off the couch. “Don’t blame me. If you’d realized we needed to hit the grocery earlier we wouldn’t be in this pickle.”

Bucky shrugs. “Let’s skip shopping and just go out. We can go tomorrow.”

**Lagoon**

Stretching, Steve buries his toes in the warm, white sand. In front of him the lagoon reflects the sun, bright even through his sunglasses. There’s a slight breeze, just enough to keep the day from being unbearably hot.

Steve’s never had a vacation like this one and he isn’t sure how he feels about it. He’s enjoying not having to worry about being shot at, but the not doing anything is weird.  
“Please tell me you put sunscreen on.”

Steve looks to where Bucky is coming out of the lagoon. “I did, not that it would matter. A sunburn won’t last long.”

Bucky drops into the sand, the crystals clinging to his wet skin. “Doesn’t matter. I remember what you looked like after a day to Coney Island. I don’t need a repeat.” He leans up to kiss Steve.

Bucky tastes like salt and Steve rests his hand on his partner’s shoulder. He sweeps his thumb over Bucky’s skin as he leans down.

Moments like this are rare, where they don’t have to worry about someone bursting in on them.  
Steve shifts and Bucky moves with him, sinking into the sand. He knows they won’t go far as neither of them want to clean sand out of awkward places. 

Bucky’s hands settle on his hips and Steve kisses him again.

He’s starting to like this lagoon.

**Tickety-boo**

Steve enters the last room on the floor. It's as empty as the rest of them and he keys his comm. “Third floor is tickety-boo.”

There’s dead silence from Bucky for along moment before his partner speaks, a hint of laughter in his voice. “Tickety-boo?” Where did you pick that up?”

Swallowing, Steve makes his way to the stairs. “Peggy. I lost track of the number of times she said it and I just kind of started saying it.” He starts up the stairs. “I haven’t said it since they unfroze me. I’d actually kind of forgotten about it.”

“This floor is clear. I’m not making fun of you for saying tickety-boo Steve. I know how much Peggy meant to you.”

Reaching the top of the stairs Steve pauses. He and Bucky had never acted on their feelings before everything that had happened. 

Now though, they’re slowing moving towards each other and Steve appreciates Bucky not minimizing the impact Peggy had on him. “Thanks Buck.”

There’s a huff of laughter through the comm. “Just don’t say tickety-boo where Stark can hear you. I have a feeling it would be worse than the swearing thing.”

Steve sighs. “You heard about that.”

“Natasha told me about it. It is funny Steve.”

Shaking his head Steve enters the first room. “No it isn’t.”

**Libelous**

Scrubbing at his face Steve enters the kitchen. Natasha is seated at the island, drinking coffee as she peruses the newspaper. “Morning Nat.”

Natasha pushes a stool out without looking away from the paper. “Morning. They’ve printed more libelous things about you and Bucky.”

Steve puts the coffee pot back on the machine. “I wish I could say I was surprised, but I’m not.” He sits next to her and sets his mug on the counter-top. “Anything new?”

“No. Some complaints, just worded differently.” Natasha glances at him. They’ll eventually give up on Captain America and his super soldier boyfriend.”

Shaking his head Steve sighs. “After everything came out, about Hydra and Bucky, I thought things would be better. Not perfect, because I know there’s too much history, but I never expected all of this.”

Natasha nudges Steve. “That’s the problem in this day and age Steve. People dedicate a lot of time to worrying about things that don’t concern them.”

Bucky comes into the kitchen, yawning. The moment he sees Steve he frowns. “Someone was talking trash again, aren’t they?”

Steve nods. “I didn’t actually read it.”

Natasha pushes the newspaper toward Bucky. “Everything libelous is on page three.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read, commented and left kudos.
> 
> Enjoy.

**Misanthropy**

Bucky collapses on the couch next to Steve. “If I hear one more person say I suffer from misanthropy, I’m going to punch someone.”

Steve grins as he nudges Bucky. “An action which would just serve to prove the point.”

“Yeah, but it would make me feel better.” Bucky stares at the far wall. He’s been trying to adapt to everything, but people are making it difficult.”

Steve settles his weight against Bucky, pinning his metal arm between them. “Don’t let them bother you with the misanthropy thing. No one has any idea what you went through. And they don’t have the right to judge.”

Nodding Bucky continues to look at the wall. Steve’s weight is welcome against his arm and it helps Bucky focus. Despite everything that’s happened, he doesn’t hate people, not even the remains of Hydra. He just prefers Steve’s company, and some of the Avengers, when they aren’t irritating him.

Steve taps Bucky’s hand. “Don’t think about it. Do you want to go spar?”

Bucky nods but doesn’t move. “In a few minutes. I’d rather just sit here for a little longer.”

Smiling Steve settles closer to Bucky. He doesn’t understand how anyone can think Bucky hates people when he would rather sit on the couch a little longer than go to the gym.

**Injury**

Arm cradled against his chest Bucky lets Steve guide him into one of seats on the Quinjet. He looks at Steve who has his face set in tight lines, like he blames himself for what happened.

Bucky wiggles his metal fingers at Steve. “This is hardly my first injury Steve. I’ll survive.”

Steve goes to his knees, gloved hands resting on Bucky’s thighs. “I know.” He grins wryly. “But I still flashback to the days before all this, when we were fragile.”

Leaning forward Bucky kisses Steve, ignoring the movement of the others around them. “To be fair, I seem to recall saving your fragile body many times.”

Steve’s shoulders shake as he laughs and he pushes to his feet. “True.” He tugs at Bucky’s hair. “That doesn’t change the fact I hate seeing you with an injury.”

Bucky pats the seat next to him, wincing when it jostles his injury. “I feel the same way Stevie. Now sit so we can go home.”

Removing the shield Steve tucks it between the seats. He sits down and draws the strap across his waist before doing the same for Bucky. “How bad is it?”

Bucky closes his eyes. “Not bad. I’ll be sore for a bit, but I’ll recover. No scar.”

Steve rests his hand on Bucky’s thigh. “Good.”

**Groucho**

Steve throws the blankets aside as he slips from the bed. He woke up when Bucky had gotten up but he hadn’t moved.

Stretching Steve heads out to the living room. He can barely make out voices and Steve grins. He’d recognize what Bucky was watching even if he was blind.

He rounds the corner and grins when he sees Grouch Marx on the screen.

Bucky is raptly watching the movie, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

With a shrug Steve moves to sit on the couch opposite Bucky. “It’s fine. I don’t really need that much sleep.” He looks at the screen. “I remember when we went to see this. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to have an attack.”

A hint of a smile pulls at Bucky’s mouth. “I remember worrying about that too.” He glances at Steve. “That was a good day.”

“Yeah.” Steve leans back. “I never thought to watch these after they unfroze me. I think it was because it made me think of you.”

Bucky looks at Steve. “That’s why I decided to watch it tonight.”

“Good choice.” Steve smiles as he watches Grouch get into some trouble. He can’t explain, but he’s so happy Bucky remembers a small part of their life. It’s just another thing to remind them both that Bucky from the past is still there, just hidden.

 **Lost**

The TV screens seem to be mocking him and Steve wants to destroy them all. He should be in the room with Bucky, supporting him. Instead, he’s three floors away, watching Bucky through a bank of screens.

Sighing Steve doesn’t look away. He hates how lost Bucky looks, the vacant look in his eyes and the slack lines of his body and face. This is so at odds with the vibrant Bucky he remembers and even the Bucky that is no longer the Winter Soldier. 

This Bucky is almost broken, and it kills him.

“We’ll get him out Steve. There’s no way they have enough evidence to hold him.”

Steve looks at Sam who won’t leave his side, no matter how many times he’s been shot at. Sam who can see just how lost Bucky is because he’s been living with them and seen the changes in Bucky. 

Steve rests his hand on Sam’s shoulder, squeezing. “I know, but I worry about what this is doing to him.”

Sam nods though he doesn’t look away from the monitors. “It’ll be close, but we’ll manage. Bucky has made progress and he won’t backslide as long as he knows you’re close.”

Nodding Steve takes a deep breath. Hopefully Nat will find something soon. He can’t stand how lost Bucky looks.

**Cabin**

The moment the truck comes to a stop Bucky pops the door and climbs out. He groans as he stands. It’s been nearly three hours since he and Steve last stopped and right now he’s regretting not pushing for one last stop.

Steve rounds the front of the truck with a grin. “I have a cramp in my thigh but I wanted to get here while we still had light.”

“I have a cramp in a less fun spot, but I won’t complain.” Bucky turns to look at the cabin. It’s good sized with a porch that spans the entire front of the building. Pine trees stand close on both sides, shadowing the dark wood.

He turns to look at Steve, who looks proud and a little shy. “You bought this?”

Steve nods. “Peggy made sure all of my pay was taken care of while I was frozen.” He grins. “I have quite a bit of money save up. I bought this place because I wanted somewhere I could just be Steve Rogers, not Captain America.”

Bucky nudges Steve. “You did a good job. Does it have running water?”

Steve nods as he moves towards the cabin. “And a generator. We have plenty of fuel to keep us going while we’re up here.”

“Let’s go check it out before we get the bags.” Bucky catches Steve’s hand. “I’m glad we could come up here. The cabin is a good choice.”

**Onomatopoeia**

Pencil in hand Steve sits on the couch. He has the apartment to himself as Bucky, Nat and Wanda are in Asia and he’s planning on getting some drawing done.

Opening his sketchbook Steve shakes his head, smiling. He’s been working on drawing action scenes and showing them to Bucky as he finishes them. 

When he wasn’t looking Bucky seems to have gone through his sketchbooks with sticky notes and added them to the pictures. On each one is onomatopoeia, in Bucky’s familiar, crabbed writing.

Steve hates to think about how much time his partner spent on doing the notes. They’re well thought out in relation to the picture and Steve is amused.

Turing to a blank page, Steve stares at the wall. He’s not sure what to draw. It needs to be something to make Bucky work and come up with something good. 

He draws a spiral in the corner of the page, mind wandering. It should be this hard to come up with an idea. 

Steve puts his pencil tip in the middle of the paper and lets it start moving. He still isn’t sure what’s going on to the paper, but Bucky is probably going to enjoy it.

Grinning Steve keeps sketching. He can’t wait for Bucky to get home. 

**Gigolo**

Steve takes a deep breath and rubs his palms of his pants. He’s been sweating since he got in the hotel room and it’s embarrassing. The air conditioner has been running since he got here but it isn’t helping. He still feels like he’s going to pass out.

Glancing at the clock Steve feels his heart beat faster. The gigolo he hired should be arriving soon and Steve isn’t sure he’s going to survive. He has his inhalers close by, but he hopes he doesn’t have to use it.

Steve still isn’t sure why he thought a gigolo was a good idea. He had almost given up on the idea when he saw a picture of Bucky he knew he had to try. There was something about him, the pain in his dark eyes, and the line of his jaw. 

When Steve had called to set up the date and heard Bucky’s voice he knew he had to do it. Bucky had sounded so sound it had tugged at Steve’s heart.

There’s a knock on the door and Steve freezes for a moment before getting up from the bed. He had no idea how Bucky is going to react when he sees his scrawny form, but he has to hope.

Steve opens the door and manages an awkward smile. “Hi.”

Bucky smiles and if he’s upset by Steve’s appearance it doesn’t show. “Hello. Can I come in?”

Steve nods and steps back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read and left kudos.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Diabolical**

“You know, if you think about it, Hydra’s plan with Bucky was diabolical.” Sam sits up when Steve looks at him. “I’m not badmouthing him, just listen.”

Steve nods though his hands remain clenched around the steering wheel.

Sam takes a deep breath. “I’m staring to think everything they did was less about a super soldier and more about you. I’m wondering if their plan wasn’t to use Bucky to assassinate you. Even if he failed at the task, you would be demoralized that Bucky attacked you and the Allies would lose an asset.”

Slowing to make a turn Steve sighs. “I see your point. Though I have no idea how they knew exactly where Bucky fell. It’s probably a miracle they found his body when they could revive him.”

“I’m sure they swept the river the moment the train had passed.” Sam sighs.” “It sucks it happened, but Hydra was smart about. Break Captain America and stuff would go to shit.”

Steve sighs. “I never thought I was that important to the war effort. I was just doing what needed to be done.”

Sam stares at the road. “But for them you were the symbol of the opposition. And you had to be destroyed, in any diabolical way possible."

**Wool**

It’s been raining all day and the sky is pewter grey about them. Bucky rolls his shoulders, wincing at the way the fabric sticks to his skin. He gets a whiff of wet wool and sighs. “I really hate the way wet wool smells.”

Steve’s laugh echoes through the comm. “You didn’t have to wear wool. There are other choices now.”

“I know, but I like wool.” Bucky settles deeper into his nest and puts his eyes to the scope on his rifle. He and Steve are waiting for a convoy of Hydra goods. It’s his job to cripple the convoy so Steve can get in. Which is why he’s wet. “It reminds me of when we were growing up.”

There’s a moment of silence before Steve speaks and his voice is wistful. “And if I remember correctly, you didn’t like the smell then either.”

Bucky grins. He well remembers the few times he and Steve got soaking wet, the smell of wool heavy around them as he hurried Steve home, so he didn’t get sick. “Probably because you always got sick when you got wet, no matter how much wool you had on.”

“I got sick when it was hot. There wasn’t much that didn’t make me sick.” Steve pauses. “I have visual on the convoy.”

Bucky thumbs the safety on his rifle and takes a deep breath. The smell of wool fills his nose and he relaxes. 

**Infatuation**

The sun is high overhead, making it a nice day. Steve hasn’t really been paying attention to how nice it is. He’s far more focused on Bucky, the easy movement of his body and the way he smiles.

He knows if anyone were to find out about his infatuation with Bucky it would be bad. Most likely he wouldn’t survive his next fight.

“Steve?”

Steve stops moving and nearly trips into Bucky. He flushes and steps back. “Sorry.”

Bucky grins. “No problem. What had you so lost?”

“Nothing important.” Steve smiles, glad he’s developed the ability to lie to Bucky without a tell. He’d zoned out the moment his friend had started talking about his latest date and girl. 

Bucky has always shared stores about his dates and it never used to bug Steve. Now though, since he’s finally put a name to this thing for Bucky, he hates the stories.

This isn’t the first time he’s spaced out while Bucky’s been talking but it’s the first time he’s been caught. Steve isn’t proud of it, but it hurts to hear the talk. There’s no way Bucky would ever accept his feelings and Steve is okay with that. He’s happy enough to have his friend like this.

Steve smiles. “Let’s get going. You know how Ma is when we run late.”

Bucky returns his smile. “You’re right Steve.”

**Stereo**

By now Steve has been unfrozen for long enough he can use a stereo, including the expensive one Tony stuck him with. Bucky however, isn’t as lucky.

Steve clears his throat as he enters the living room. Bucky looks like he’s ready to destroy the stereo and Steve is rather attached to it.

“Having a problem?” Steve gently takes the remote from Bucky, trying not to smile. “I see you got it on.”

Bucky glares at him through the fall of his hair. “I can read. After that, none of the buttons did anything when I pressed them.”

With a quick look at the remote Steve notices the slider to control the stereo is out of place. He moves it back to where it belongs. Using his thumb, he changes the stereo to a channel that plays the music he and Bucky grew up listening to.

The music fills the room and Bucky startles. He looks at Steve, some of the shadows falling from his eyes. “Where did you get this music?”

Steve sets the remote down and moves closer to Bucky. “It was a gift from Sam. I knew you would like it.”

With a slight smile Bucky steps into Steve, hand resting lightly on his hip. “I’d like it more if I knew how to get the stereo to work.”

Smiling Steve presses a kiss to the corner of Bucky’s mouth. “I'll show you how to do it later.”

**Headache**

Light bounces off the windows and Bucky squints as pain starts in his left temple. He hopes the headache isn’t going to get worse as he and Steve have a mission in nearly an hour and no one is available to go with his partner.

Taking a deep breath Bucky closes his eyes. He never used to get headaches before everything with Hydra. There’s little doubt in his mind that whatever Hydra did, scrambled his brain in some way they didn’t anticipate. He’s sure, but he hasn’t had anyone do any scans because he doesn’t want to see the results.

Another deep breath has the pain receding a little and Bucky relaxes. Natasha is getting suspicious, her sharp gaze lingering on him when he has a headache. He knows he needs to tell Steve, but he can’t bring himself to do it. Steve has enough to worry about without bothering him with his broken brain. 

His headache flares into an agonizing flash and Bucky grits his teeth. Placing a hand on the wall Bucky heads to the bathroom. He hadn’t wanted to take any painkillers but now he can’t avoid it. Stoned is the only way he’s going to be of any use to Steve.

Hand sliding along the edge of the mirror Bucky opens the cabinet. The bottle of drugs is on the bottom shelf and he fumbles the bottle open. He dry swallows two and closes the bottle. His headache should be better by the time they leave. 

**Iatrogenic**

Steve sits up as the doctor comes into the room. He can tell the doctor is going to say something he isn’t’ going to like and Steve frowns. Tony had assured him this was one of the best doctors he knew but Steve isn’t feeling good about him.

“Mr. Rogers.”

The doctor sounds slightly nervous and Steve looks at the man.

He shifts. “It seems Mr. Barnes has developed an infection. We believe it’s iatrogenic in nature.”

“Which means what?”

With a sigh the doctor pinches the bridge of his nose. “That we caused it. Somewhere, the chain of asepsis was broken, and we caused the infection.”

Steve nods and glances at Bucky, who looks flushed and sunken. “What are you going to do about it?”

“We’re already started antibiotics. As we speak the lab is doing a culture and sensitivity. Once that’s back, we’ll change the drugs to something specific for the organism in question.” The doctor shifts his weight. “Mr. Barnes isn’t in any danger, he’ll just have to stay a little longer.”

Steve nods. “Good.”

The doctor backs from the room and Steve stands. He sits on the edge of the Bucky’s bed, hand resting on his lover’s thigh. He’d been hoping to go home soon but at least they caught the infection before it got too bad.

**Jamboree**

“This seems unlikely as a Hydra meeting spot.” Bucky wends his way through the crowd, grinning when he hears Sam’s agreement. He’s curious who provided intel that Hydra was recruiting through a folk jamboree because the person probably needs to be drug tested.

He, Sam and Steve have been wandering around the jamboree for two days and haven’t found anything. Every time they return to the hotel Bucky hoped they’ll have a message saying this was all a hoax.

Steve’s voice comes over the radio. “The intel came form a reliable source. And we have reports of them in this area.”

Bucky cruises down a line of food trucks. The food smell amazing and he wonders if he can get food without the others getting upset. Last time Sam had bitched him out for five minutes and he doesn’t want a repeat performance.

“I think we should call it for the day Steve. People are going to start leaving soon.” Bucky is so ready to call this whole thing and try to catch Hydra somewhere else. He’s tired of the music and the press of people and he can safely say he’s had enough of this jamboree to never visit another in his life.

“We’ll give it another half an hour and then call it.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and moves deeper into the crowd.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read and left kudos.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Snooze**

Sundays used to be the one day of the week Sam would allow his control to slip enough to push the snooze button.

Now though, he never gets to use the snooze button because Bucky and Steve are always up well before the alarm is supposed to go off. They try not to wake him but the bed is shitty at absorbing the movement of two super soldiers and once Sam’s up, he’s up for the day.

Sam isn’t sure what time it is when he wakes up, but he knows it must nearly be time for it to go off. Bucky is a line of heat down his back and Sam sighs. It’s early Sunday and all he wants to do is sleep some more.

The alarm sound and Sam reaches out for the snooze button.

“Just turn the alarm off.” Steve’s voice is sleepy and his hand lands on Sam’s hip.

Sam smiles and presses his face into the pillow. It finally seems like all the running around has caught up with his lovers. The fact Bucky and Steve are staying in bed shouldn’t make him so happy but he’s learned to take the small victories where he can get them. 

Bucky moves closer, lips pressing against his shoulder and Sam relaxes into the bed. Maybe after they all snooze some more they can spend some time messing the bed up. 

Everyone needs some lazy Sunday morning sex.

**Hypothetically**

Steve watches Bucky as he comes into their suite. There’s something off about the way his lover is moving, almost like he’s trying to slink and go unnoticed. He wants to ask what it is, but he’s learned to let Bucky talk when he’s ready. 

Bucky leans against the wall, arms folded across his chest. “What would you say if I told you I hypothetically kissed Sam?”

It takes Steve a minute to get his brain functioning enough to untangle what Bucky said. When he deciphers the words, Steve flushes.

The thought of Bucky kissing Sam is a good one. It’s a scenario he’s imagined many times, since he realized he feels for Sam like he does for Bucky. He’s been wondering how to broach the subject to Bucky, but it seems it might be easier than he thought.

Bucky is watching him with hooded eyes.

Steve leans forward. “I wouldn’t be upset. I’d have to admit I’ve been hypothetically thinking about kissing Sam too.” He smiles. “I wouldn’t want to be a hypocrite.”

Some of the tension fades from Bucky’s body and he looks at Steve. “You might want to talk to Sam. He seemed a little confused.”

Getting to his feet Steve moves to Bucky. “So the hypothetical wasn’t hypothetical.”

Bucky shrugs. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Steve kisses Bucky. “I’ll go talk to Sam.”

**Splinter**

Bucky gets his shoulder under Steve’s arm and braces his lover, taking most of Steve’s weight. “Where are you hit?”

Steve leans into Bucky, his breathing labored. “It’s shrapnel. They never hit me, but there’s a splinter jammed deep.”

From long experience Bucky can tell when Steve is lying, and he’s lying now. Bucky carefully leans Steve against the wall, ignoring his complaints. “Stop. I want to take a look and see if I need to rig a dressing.”

He drops to his knees and turns Steve. The fabric is damp and tacky under his fingers, making him suspicious. There’s a lot of blood.

Carefully working upwards Bucky’s fingers encounter wood. It takes him a moment to gauge the size and he looks up at Steve. “This isn’t’ a splinter Steve. It’s a stake.”

Steve rests a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I know, but I didn’t want to worry. We need to get out.”

Bucky shoots to his feet and cups Steve’s face in his hands. “You are an idiot. We need to deal with this, but I can’t take it out here.”

“So let’s get back to the Quinjet so you can take it out.”

Shaking his head Bucky carefully settles Steve against his side. “No. We’re getting to the jet, I’m stabilizing your splinter and medical professionals are removing it.”

Steve grits his teeth as they move. “Okay. I’ll listen to you this time.”

**Pitcher**

Bucky knows developing a crush on the team’s new All-American pitcher is a bad idea. He knows it but he has a crush because Steve is perfect, nice and easily the best player Bucky has ever played with. 

Freshly showered Bucky sidles up to Steve’s locker. “Do you want to get something to eat?”

Steve pulls his T-Shirt on and settles his hat afterward. “That would be great. I haven’t had much to eat today.”

Shaking his head Bucky watches as Steve pockets his walled and pulls a motorcycle helmet out. “I wouldn’t keep doing that. Coach is going to ride us hard and if you don’t eat properly, we’ll be picking you up off the field.”

Steve hands Bucky the helmet so he can shrug on a leather jacket. “I don’t normally make that mistake, but I was running late.” Steve grins. “Where are you taking me?”

Heat pools in Bucky’s stomach and he curses himself as a fool. Getting attached to the pitcher was such a bad idea. “What do you like?”

“Some kind of meat. A burger maybe.”

Bucky claps Steve on the shoulder. “I have the perfect place.”

Steve’s grin is infectious, and Bucky finds himself returning the grin. He’s so fucked, and he really can’t find the energy to care. Steve is worth it.

**Menu**

“This is stupid. A menu isn’t going to provide much cover.” Bucky glances out the diner’s windows, knowing Steve is watching the sidewalk the other way.

They’re picking up surveillance from Sam and Natasha which means getting lunch. Their target has lunch at his dinner every day.

Steve looks at Bucky over the menu and the glasses he’s wearing. “The menu isn’t so much the cover as blending in.” He grins. “Plus, we don’t have to pay for lunch.”

Shaking his head Bucky looks at the menu. “Always looking on the upside. What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know. There’s a lot on here that looks good.” Bucky scans the menu, though he keeps an eye on the sidewalk. The target is a rather distinctive looking man who they’ll know as soon as they see him. Luckily the man tends to linger over lunch so they’ll have time to eat before they have to apprehend him.

Bucky catches sight of their target as he rounds the corner of the block. “I think I’ll have the patty melt. He’s coming.”

Steve pushes the glasses back up his nose. “I’ll take the chicken. Order for me.”

He slips from the bench and passes the mark.

Bucky watches as the man takes a seat at the corner. It seems Steve was right. A menu works great as cover.

**Tohubohu**

Rifle held close to his chest Bucky pushes through the press of people. He can see Steve moving parallel to him. The others are around the city, working on damage control, as well as trying to figure out what to do.

“You will see. I am the Master and tohubohu will be the end of you!”

Bucky shakes his head as the words echo uncomfortably in his mind. “Why do all the wackos learn English from a dictionary. We aren’t going to judge them if they don’t use big words.”

“You obviously need more to do if you have time to complain Barnes.”

Dodging around a car Bucky grins at Sam’s voice. It seems he and Steve have the easy job. “I’m plenty of busy Wilson. This is what happens when you have wings.”

“Stop baiting each other. Bucky, focus on the chaos.” Steve’s voice is tight, and Bucky moves closer. They don’t really have any idea what they’re up against besides some vague news reports and what little bit Sam has managed to see.

“We’ll be fine Steve. Chaos is an old friend.” Bucky doesn’t dare draw closer to Steve.

Steve sighs. “Someday I wish that wasn’t the case. It always seemed so much easier in the pulps.”

Bucky grins. “You always wanted to be a hero. Admit it, you love it.”

Ahead there’s a plume of odd colored smoke and they exchange a look. Things are going to get ugly.

**Tricycle**

“Bucky, he’ll be fine. That’s why we got a tricycle.”

Bucky manages to look away from Gabriel who is sitting on the tricycle and rocking back and forth, giggling with delight. “And when it falls over on him?”

Steve grins and slips his arm around Bucky’s shoulders. “If Gabe manages to pull that over we might want to get him tested.”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that.” Bucky watches as their son puts his feet on the pedals. “He’s going to have a hard-enough time with us as parents. Never mind having powers to go with it.”

Kissing Bucky’s temple Steve nudges him. “And if he does, he’s in the best place to have them. Now let’s get this tricycle moving.”

Steve moves away from Bucky to kneel next to Gabe. “Do you remember what to do?”

Gabe nods and looks seriously up at Steve. “I push down with my feet and I go.”

Steve nods and sets a helmet on his head. It’s dark blue with white stars on either side. It’s as close to Steve’s markings as they’ll let Gabe get, for safety reasons.

Doing up the strap Steve smiles. “Always wear your helmet.” He stands. “Okay, let’s see what you have.”

Gabe pushes against the pedals and for a long moment it seems nothing is going to happen.

Bucky takes a partial step forward and then the tricycle is moving and he smiles.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read and left kudos!
> 
> Enjoy.

**Gizmo**

Scrubbing a towel through his hair Steve pauses. Bucky is sitting on their bed, holding a metal tube. It’s roughly eight inches long and Steve can make out several buttons along the length. “What is that gizmo?”

Bucky looks up at Steve, fingers sliding along the length. “Some new toy Stark gave me. He wants me to field test it the next time we go out.”

Steve tosses the towel into the hamper in the corner of the room. “Nonlethal?”

“Mostly. There’s a lethal feature just in case. We both know how our missions go.” Bucky holds the gizmo out to Steve. “Want a look?”

Accepting the rod Steve is surprised at hos light it is. He turns it over in his hands he’s not surprised to see there isn’t any labeling. “Any idea what it does?”

Bucky grins and flops back on the bed. “No idea. That’s the fun part.”

With a smile Steve gently sets the gizmo on the floor next to the bed. “Great. Now I get to worry about you and untested Starktech on a mission. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to drive me crazy.”

Bucky pats the bed next to his hip. “Don’t worry. I plan on being very careful with that gizmo. I’ve seen what happens when Stark’s stuff goes crazy and I’m rather attached to the rest of my body parts.”

Shaking his head Steve sits down. “You aren’t helping.”

**Truth**

Bucky drags his flesh hand up and down the smooth slope of Steve’s back. His lover is dead to the world, draped over his right side. It’s become the way they sleep when they’re at home and Bucky is going to miss it.

He’s been putting off telling Steve the truth, but he can’t for much longer. Soon it will be noticeable, and he needs to explain.

He’s dying.

Whatever Hydra has been doing to him for decades, the drugs, thawing and freezing are wreaking havoc on his body. He’s noticed the changes, the slowing of his reflexes struggling to find the right words. Lately everything hurts and the connection between his body and prosthetic has been pure agony, no matter what.

His end is drawing near and he needs to tell Steve, before things get worse. He’s been trying to tell his lover, but he can’t find the time. With every try he’s faced with a happy, smiling Steve who is still riding high about having him back.

The thought of enlisting someone’s help has crossed his mind, but he can’t do it. Steve has to be the first to know. 

Sighing Bucky bows his head and kisses the top of Steve’s head. Tomorrow he’ll tell Steve, after they spar.

His time with Steve is really the only time he feels even remotely normal. Normal is something he’s beginning to miss and he knows the feeling won’t remain when Steve knows the truth.

**Snowdrift**

The sun is high overhead, reflecting off the expanse of snow in front of them. Wind whips around Steve and Bucky, the blown snowflakes stinging their faces.

Steve grabs Bucky and drags him around so their back are to the wind. “We’re going to have to stop eventually.”

Bucky curls his hand around Steve’s elbow and leans into him. “I know. I’m hoping to find a promising snowdrift.”

He’s had far more cold weather training than Steve, all thanks to Hydra. There’s bound to be some area where they can take shelter, due to dips in the terrain and the constant wind.

Kissing Steve he draws back. “The moment I find something promising we’ll stop.”

Steve nods and the back into the wind, heads lowered to protect from the stinging ice crystals.

There’s a fine crust on the snow and they break through with every step. It saps their energy, pulling at them and weakening them when they can ill afford it.

They have water, canteens tucked into their coats. They scoop up snow and tuck it into their coats to melt. Food is far more problematic, as they each have two protein bars and no idea when they might be rescued.

The land dips before them and Bucky slides down, halting Steve’s slide behind him. There’s a promising build of snowdrifts at the end and Bucky draws Steve towards it.

**Lamb**

Bucky enters the cottage and removes his blue plaid jacket. He hangs it on the hook and turns, shaking his head at the sight that greets him. He should be surprised to see Steve on the floor with a lamb in his lap and bottle in his hand.

“I thought we’d talked about this.” Bucky removes his boot and pads across the hardwood to join his lover on the floor. 

Steve smiles at him as he holds the lamb close. “We have.”

It’s an old conversation, one they have every lambing season. There’s always one runt lamb Steve brings into the house to raise until it can be returned to the herd. Bucky always asks but it doesn’t mean anything. Having the lamb around is rather amusing, watching it follow Steve around the house.

Bucky kisses Steve’s cheek and pets the lamb’s head. “How’s the rest of the flock?”

“Good. The rest of the lambs are doing well, and I didn’t see any signs of coyotes.”

Nodding Bucky leans back on his hands. “I’ll ride out and check along the fence line. There might be signs out there since llamas don’t range that far.”

The lamb releases the bottle and yawns. Steve gently sets it in a nest of old blankets. He stands and offers a hand to Bucky.

“Let’s get dinner started before the lamb wakes back up.”

**Cane**

“Hey, should you up without the cane?”

Steve looks at Bucky in the mirror. “They said I need to start using it less. I only came from the bed.”

Bucky nods but doesn’t move away. He can see the way Steve is keeping weight off his left leg, the way he seems to sway a little.

The broken leg that lead to Steve needing a cane had been horrendous. His lower leg had been shattered and the only reason the medical team had managed to save it was because Thor had showed up with Asgardian tech.

Even with the cane Steve has been slow to move and his rehab has been long. It’s been painful to watch, since Steve hates sitting still for long.

Bucky leans against the door frame. “Do you want to go down and eat with the others?”

Steve pushes away from the sink and turns to look at Bucky. “Yeah. I just need to put some real clothes on.”

Stepping out of the way Bucky watches as Steve moves, the slight hesitation when it comes to weight on his left leg. He watches as Steve changes, noting the scars running down his lover’s leg.

“Ready.”

Bucky notices the cane is still leaning against the wall and doesn’t comment. He knows how stubborn Steve can be.

 **Supererogatory**

Yawning Bucky follows Steve out of the conference room. He falls into step with his lover, bumping against Steve’s shoulder. “That was painful. The entire thing was stuff we already know.”

Steve glances at Bucky. “I know the information was supererogatory, but you could have tried to avoid yawning so much.”

Bucky shrugs as they enter the elevator. “I know, and I would feel worse about it if Stark hadn’t been yawning too. Through his own presentation.”

His words draw some of the starch from Steve and he grins.

Steve smile as they enter the elevator and he pushes the button for their floor. “I will give you that. I’m sure it’s because he’s been through the information so many times.”

The elevator starts moving and Bucky leans back against the wall. “Hardly any more than the rest of us. I’ve been dreaming about it lately, and I know you’ve been sketching it.”

Steve blushes and Bucky leans forward to kiss him. “You weren’t fast enough to close it. Face it, the entire briefing was a waste of time.”

Steve slides along the wall, away from Bucky. “No. I know you still have things to do before we leave.”

Bucky slumps against the wall. “You’re getting less fun in your old age.”

Steve grins. “You’re older than me.”

**Smorgasbord**

Steve leans back in his chair, smiling slightly. Bucky has been staring at the smorgasbord of food on the table. His lover is still lean from months on the run and he knows Bucky is enjoying the easy availability of food in the Tower.

Bucky leans closer to Steve. “Is there always this much food?”

Nodding Steve accepts the plates Natasha is holding out to him. Only when Thor is here. Anything smaller and he’ll eat everything.” He hands a plate to Bucky. “No one will judge how much you eat.”

With a faint grin Bucky sets the plate down on the pristine tablecloth. “Because they’ve seen you eat? I remember how much you ate on the front.”

Steve can feel a blush heating his cheeks and he knows Nat is grinning. “Yeah. It hasn’t gotten any better.”

Their conversation dies as the plates of food start making it around the table. Thor is loudly exclaiming over all the food, like he always does.

Steve watches from the corner of his eye as Bucky puts food on his plate, leaving space between each one.

The movement reminds him of when they were growing up. Bucky always made sure his food wasn’t touching.

Once he’s sure Bucky has enough food Steve focuses on his own breakfast.


End file.
